


break my heart, tear it in two

by silentassassin21



Category: Dare Me (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Beth's pov, F/F, Falling In Love, POV Third Person, Pining, Pre-Canon, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27654257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentassassin21/pseuds/silentassassin21
Summary: So, even though Beth knew, sheknew, what the electricity thrumming through her veins meant, she didn’t do anything. She did what she did best and bottled it up, refusing to even look at it, pretending that she felt nothing when Addy’s pinkie began subconsciously stroking her ankle.
Relationships: Beth Cassidy/Addy Hanlon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	break my heart, tear it in two

**Author's Note:**

> I was missing my best girls and there just is not enough fic for them so I wrote some! This was going to be much longer and have Addy's perspective but I liked how it ended so for now this is the end. Who knows, maybe I'll write more.

She realised at one of their regular sleepovers. This one found Beth at Addy’s house, which had always been Beth’s preference, her house feeling too oppressive no matter which one it was. In fact, it had been a couple months, at least, since Addy had even stepped foot in Beth’s house.

It had reached the point that the mattress they used for Beth had become a permanent fixture on Addy’s floor and Faith had started to instinctively cook for an extra person.

Despite the mattress on the floor, Beth was lying on Addy’s bed, her legs thrown over Addy’s lap where she sat at the end of the bed. Beth was pretending to do something on her phone but hadn’t touched it in several minutes, having spaced out several minutes ago while staring at Addy.

Addy wasn’t doing anything especially remarkable. She was reading a textbook with her earbuds in, a lollipop stick between her lips. She looked perfectly normal. But Beth just couldn’t stop staring.

There was something different. Was it the angle? Did Beth never see her from the side like this? That couldn’t be it, they’d sat like this so many times before. Had she changed something about her hair or makeup? Also no. Addy was the exact same as she was a week earlier, so why did Beth feel like she couldn’t breathe properly.

It was only when Addy shifted slightly that she realised; the entire time, her hand had been placed on Beth’s angle. Her fingers twitched when she moved and Beth gasped, her entire body tensing. Addy didn’t seem to realise, thank god, so caught up in studying and her music.

Beth relaxed her muscles but her body still felt like it was on fire. Addy’s fingers were placed just above her sock, gently pressing into the skin that felt like fire. Beth wanted to pull her leg away. Beth wanted Addy to press harder. Beth wanted to melt away into nothingness until all that existed was Addy’s touch, and the thought scared her.

It took a lot to make Beth Cassidy feel fear, her reckless attitude and screwed up home life giving her very little to lose. But this, this simple touch from Addy and the way she felt about it, terrified her. The only thing scarier than how much she wanted the touch was the thought of losing it.

So, even though Beth knew, she _knew_ , what the electricity thrumming through her veins meant, she didn’t do anything. She did what she did best and bottled it up, refusing to even look at it, pretending that she felt nothing when Addy’s pinkie began subconsciously stroking her ankle.

Despite her refusal to admit to anyone, least of all herself, what she felt for Addy, it suddenly became clear how obvious it was to everyone else. Coy looks Faith would give them over dinner, whispered comments among teammates, the extra wide smile a cashier with a rainbow sticker on their nametag gave them.

Everyone knew.

There was only one thing that Beth Cassidy was better at than bottling emotions, though: turning her emotions into a joke. So, she leaned into it.

Every time Beth’s body betrayed her and leaned into a touch Addy had given, she would lean in further; if someone was commenting on their ‘closeness’, Beth would say whatever the flirtiest thing that came to mind was and delight in Addy’s laughter that was sure to follow.

Addy quickly caught onto the insincerity, though, and asked about it one night at yet another sleepover.

“Why are you all weird now?”

Beth made her voice casual. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, you just… Everything seems like even more of a joke to you than normal.” Addy sounded as if she was choosing her words carefully, like saying one wrong thing would set Beth off. Into anger or humour, she wasn’t sure.

“Everything is a joke,” Beth said, trying to be as deadpan as possible, either to make Addy laugh or get off her back. Unfortunately, neither happened.

There was silence for a long time and Beth eventually thought that Addy had fallen asleep or given up on the conversation and moved onto doing something else. But then, so quiet Beth almost didn’t hear, Addy said, “We shouldn’t be.”

That made Beth sit up. She looked over to where Addy was lying on the bed but Addy wasn’t looking back. She was staring at the ceiling in a way that felt pointed.

“We aren’t,” Beth said, and she hated how desperate she sounded.

“Then stop treating it like we are,” Addy said, still not looking. “Anytime anyone talks about us, you just… take it too far. Make it feel like you’re making fun of _us_ , not them.”

“I’m not,” Beth said, leaning forward as if to touch Addy but stopping halfway. “I promise I’m not.”

“Then say something,” Addy said. “Say something that isn’t a joke, something that can’t be laughed away.”

Beth swallowed, her entire body suddenly feeling very heavy. She had two options: turn it into a joke or bare her soul. Both seemed like they had a high likelihood of making her lose Addy, but the choice was easy. She had always been bad at refusing her girl.

“Addy Hanlon,” Beth said, her voice firm and absolute. Addy turned at the use of her full name, locking eyes with Beth. Her eyes were full of so much intensity that Beth almost lost all her courage, but she kept going. “You are going to break my heart one day.”

It was more vulnerable than Beth had been in months and she felt a little like crying. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from Addy, though, so she saw every emotion that flashed over her face.

Disbelief, confusion, a little humour, but no disgust or annoyance. Beth gave a minute sigh of relief.

“What do you mean?” Addy asked. “I won’t. I would never.”

She never gave Beth an opportunity to say anything because as the words left her mouth, she lifted her hand towards Beth, pinkie raised.

Beth couldn’t help it. “Is that a pinkie promise?” she asked, her tone bordering on mocking.

“Yes, it is,” Addy said, and her voice was completely sincere, as was her face.

Beth had always been bad at refusing her girl, so she lifted her pinkie and linked it with Addy’s. Her skin became electric, as if Addy had transferred a current to her.

It was over and done sooner than Beth would have liked, Addy just squeezing her pinkie for a moment before detaching.

“There you go,” she said, sounding triumphant, a wide smile appearing on her face that Beth found herself imitating. “Can’t break a pinkie promise.”

A few months later, she broke it.

**Author's Note:**

> I made an Addy/Beth playlist if you want to check that out [here.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Q89IHFn2mpazMgoj2qO2f?si=ED5duFQ0QRqc3GeZhq4_Wg)


End file.
